Sunday, January 24, 2010

Fairy Tale News Briefs

I read a lot of stuff like this, but these were particularly good for the genre... From Behind the fairy tale by Greg Bird:

Fairy tales are simple stories that are used to entertain children. But, in the land of fairy tales, things are not always as they seem. What is presented to the public as stories with happy endings, in reality is just the tip of the iceberg. So often, the rest of the story is left out. So I took it upon myself, as a dedicated newspaperman, to research some of the stories we all grew up hearing and find out what happened next. Some of these stories could have ended up on the Jerry Springer Show.

Snow White and the 7 Dwarves: Let us forget the fact that it was just one girl living with 7 men, and ignore that she did all the cooking and cleaning while the guys worked. It is a little known fact that in actuality there were originally 80 dwarves. One-by-one they all began to disappear. It wasn’t until there was just 8 left that they suspected one of their own, Hungry. In the trial of the century, rivaling even OJ’s, the fat, bloated miniature man-eater finally was convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment.

Rumplestilskin: Everyone remembers the tale of the imp that saved the life of the miller’s daughter by spinning straw into gold and how the only payment he wanted was the first-born child of the girl. According to the story, when the girl tricked the imp by sending out her spies to invade the privacy of Rumplestilskin and discovered his name he vanished forever. In reality, he went right to his lawyers and filed a breach of contract suit and won a cool million dollars.

The Three Little Pigs: Soon after failing to blow down the last Pig’s brick house, the police arrived, called by a concerned neighbor. The Big Bad Wolf was arrested and put on trial for attempted murder, wanton endangerment and destruction of private property. BBW made waves when he chose to represent himself at the trial and blamed everything on “The MAN!”. He is currently serving 20 years in a federal prison.

There's a few more on the article's page--I like the one about Little Red Riding Hood and child endangerment as well as PETA--so as always click through to read it all.

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