For those living in the UK, the series Heston's Feasts recently aired an episode devoted to fairy tales. I haven't seen this series stateside, alas, but there are images and descriptions to taunt us.
Here are three of the five images with text from Heston's Fairytale Feast. You can click through to see the other two but be aware that the language and imagery may be offensive to some but will amuse others no end.
1. Once upon a dine...
"These are some of the greatest, weirdest stories ever told, full of the most mesmerising ideas for food," announces Heston, leafing through a copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales.
Hailing from the opulent and indulgent Regency period, when dining was so fine, the greedy Prince George gorged himself to till he weighed 17 stone, fairytales like Cinderella, Snow White and Hansel and Gretel reveal an age inspired by extravagant foods.
So Heston's getting his magic wand out to create a four-course meal dishing up childlike wonder to the stars, including exploding pumpkins, Jack's beanstalk and an enormous gingerbread house.
"I have butterflies in my stomach where I should have hunger," says TV presenter, Caroline Feraday.
2. The fiery fairy
Like a proper fairy godfather, Heston brings his guests to the banquet using a pumpkin.
But plain old squash in a bowl isn't worthy of Heston's table, so his amusing amuse bouche is introduced by a fire-wielding fairy who torches papier mache carriages to reveal a pumpkin puree with langoustine tails, pumpkin seeds and gold leaf fairy dust.
"It's the most delicious thing I've ever put in my mouth," coos Fay Ripley.
5. Pudding time
"It's the biggest dish of my career and every child's dream," grins Heston, "an edible Hansel and Gretel house."
The master bakers at the Cake Store make edible witches and sugar princesses so have just the right credentials to advise Heston on his fairytale finale.
Heston's house is so big his guests are able to get inside their pudding. There are sticks of rock for girders and chocolate for concrete, marshmallow bricks and melted sugar stained glass windows and for the roof – tiles made of millionaire's shortbread.
"Who wants some window?" asks Hardeep.
"Who wants some drainpipe?" asks Faye.
"I've found some cake on the doormat!" cries Catherine.
"It actually sounds like they are on drugs," laughs Heston.
Watching the celebs demolish the tasty house, Heston is satisfied it's been another fantastic Feast.
Don't miss my previous post about fairy tale recipe books: Fairy Tale Feasts.